Monday, 05 October 2009
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Currently
Awake
By Secondhand Serenade
Vulnerable
see relatedGuys say girls are confusing, when it's them that are the confusing ones.
Whenever I get with a hot guy, I just keep thinking, on how lucky I am. Like Why would the choose me? My first real boyfriend, was perfect in my eyes. He was irish, green eyes, red hair, skinny but buff, and the best, he was an idiot like I am. First guy I messed around with someone after my ex, was hot, skinny and extremely muscular, played sports, and alot of girls liked him. The next guy, the "friends with benefits" guy, extremely hot. I like him for about half a year before we finally hooked up. I considered myself lucky. Me getting with guys that are hot, makes me feel great about myself. The things that make me not feel great about myself, is when they stop talking to me. "Friends with benefits" guy, didn't talk to me for a week, when we first hooked up. My cousins' friend George, didn't talk to me the next morning. Actually, I haven't seen him since. So I ask the question, why do guys think that we are the confusing ones? All I would love is for the guy not to make it weird for me. I try my hardest to pretend like nothing happened. Nothing, we're just friends.
Which now brings me to why I am writing this.
One of my best friends, has recently broke up with his girlfriend, of 9 months. We talked about it, and I was like that's why I don't want to be in a relationship because I don't want to get so attached at 18 years old. I'd rather have fun doing my own thing. Well, we've been hanging out alot, sort of because all of his friends stopped talking to him because he kind of crossed them out of his life when he was with his girlfriend. Well, the other day, a good friend of mine, asked me if I wanted to drink and go bowling. I said sure, and I asked my best friend if he wanted to go too. He said yeah, he's like could you come pick me up at my friends, I'm kind of drunk. I was like yeah whatever, we're all drinking anyway. So we get to the alley, and we're standing there with all of my friends, because we had to wait for a lane to open. Well we were there for about 45 minutes. So I turned to my best friend, and I was like is your friend still having a party? So we went over there, I told him right away, I don't know anyone I'm gonna stick by your side the whole time. He's like it's okay I only know 2 people. Well, his friend was taking birthday shots, and I joined in. Well, a few shots in, me and him were sitting there talking, and he was like you're one of my best friends, fuck all of yours, me and you are best friends.
That made me so happy! I was like he's amazing. Hot, funny, sweet, and an awesome friend.
Well, 4 shots and 4 beers later, I was drunk. He was like if you're too drunk you can come spend the night at my house. Of course I said yeah, why not. So we went to his house, and he turned on a movie, but then he called his friend. A friend that was mad at him because he was with me. For the time being, while he was on the phone, I was "drunk texting" some guys. Well he finally came back in, and he said some dumb remark, and I threw my phone at him. And well I wanted to get it back. So I went over to him, and I was like where is it? And he put it in his pocket. So I fuckin went after it. He's like where you grabbin, im like dude, for my phone. Well, we some how ended up on his bed, and he still had my phone. So I began tickleing him. I have long nails, so it made it worse, lol. I was tickleing his neck and he's like Amie, really stop it, I'm getting horny. I'm like yeah well if you'd just give me my phone back, we wouldn't be in this situation. He's like what about this situation, and he turned to me and kissed me. Well, one thing led to the next, and of course we all know what happened. What would have topped it all off, is if he would have slept next to me. Nope, he went to his chair. So I barely slept, because I kept thinking about how awesome he really is. The sex was amazing. Just the look on his face was like, what did i do. well, i had to leave early in the morning, because i had work. so i went there, and ended up calling my best friend because i needed to tell her everything. i knew the bears game was on, so i was gonna wait until after to text him. so i waited, and i texted him about 4 pm saying, "hey bum, sleep all day"?, and well, nothing. im like great, he regrets it. and well, i texted him about 7, just saying hey, nothing. my friends told me to text him one more time just saying hey i need to talk to you, again nothing. So I was talking to a gay friend of mine, and he told me exactly what to say.
"Hey, sorry for the other night, I didn't intend on it going that far. I don't want this to lose you as a best friend because of it. Yeah it'll be awkward for awhile, but I'd like to talk about it sometime. Get back to me whenever." And then leave it alone for about 3 days.
Thank god for gay friends!
I just don't understand why, a great guy like him, would do this. My gay friend told me that I am addicted to sleeping with ass holes. I believe it. I'm attracted to the "bad boy", but the thing is, he's not a bad boy, he's actually a good boy...sort of. lol
Please I need some advice.
This is my Best Friend Joey. :)
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
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Currently
Dressed Up As Life
By Sick Puppies
War
see relatedfriends with benefits
I really hate the term, "Friends with benefits", it's like why not just go out with the person if you're going to mess around with them. I always said I'd never do that, it's just not my style.
That's all changed now, I'm older and things are just different. When I lost my virginity, 3 years ago, I thought I was going to be with him for a longgggg time. Didn't turn out that way. He broke up with me about a month later. Too good of friends. That's what they all say. Bullshit. ahah, but still, I promised I'd never make the wrong choice like that again. Then about 6 months ago, my little cousin's, best friends' brother asked me out. I knewww he was a "bad boy", didn't stop me, all the people having sex around me, I wanted to, I didn't care. Well, clicked instantly, he was awesome. then, the next day we spent the night together. We all knows what happened next...
I know I should've said no....but I didn't. And I knew that was going to make me attach to him so much sooner. And of course it did. We only went out for 2 months. It didn't hurt me much, but it was like I was missing something out of my life then. It was because I was getting sex all the time....then it was down to none at all. Well, we ended up hookin up a few times after were over, then one of my good friends came along.
I liked him the moment I seen him. I heard how he was in bed and stuff. I got with him once before, didn't have sex though. Well, we were at a party, and ended up finally hookin up. Greatest sex of my life. ahah. Then after that, we got together a few more times. It started getting out of hand, where whenever he was in the mood. And when it's only convienent for him. And I would just absolutely love to go out with him. I've grown attached. He's completely my type. Again, with the "bad boy." Smart, extremely smart! Very powerful, hot, sexy, strong, and he's a jarhead.
What makes me most upset about him, is the fact that he is a jarhead. He's told me he's obligated to join the marines, because he's the 3rd generation. And he's leaving soon. Which is really starting to bother me. He's told me right from the beginning that he doesn't want any attachments. And I understood, it's because he's going into the military. But it's really starting to bother me, because he's leaving within the next 2 months. I just want to tell him how much i'll miss him, and not just because of the sex, but as a friend. But he's the type of person, where he doesn't seem to care. To him, it's probably just sex.
Saturday, 22 August 2009
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Lifetime's view of teens!
So, it's the "Truth of the Youth's" or some bullshit on Lifetime right now. I love Lifetime, don't get me wrong, as one of my teacher's said, "Women Porn", haha. All the movies though, portray teens as just high sex driven kids. That's all we seem about. Not every single teen is like that. Yeah most of us do it, whatever, no big deal, but it's when it becomes out of hand, and every starts rumors. Well, that's all in the movies. Well, I thought it was all in the movies, I'm not too sure. My school, which is close to Chicago, most of the parents where I live, starting sending their children to private schools. What's that going to help? They think it's a bad neighborhood. When really, our school is very, well, educated. about 90% of our teachers have their masters. All schools are going to have sex and drugs in them. No matter how hard parents try to stay away from them.
In these movies, parents do everything in their will, to stop their kids from doing wrong, or at least they don't belive their children are the ones doing it. When those are the kids they should really be looking out for. In one of the movies, girls wear these bracelets, "sex bracelets", and when they do something sexual, the guy breaks one. Or something like that. I just don't kids in schools, being that open about sex. Yeah, we all talk about it, there's nothing wrong with it, but still, sex should be more of a private matter, or at least just discussed with your close friends. That is why these girls all call each others whores and sluts. I know plenty of girls who have slept around, doesn't mean I'm going to go and start calling people sluts. People who call people names, don't feel that good about themselves, you're bringing yourself down to that level, of immaturity. That's all high school sex is allllll about. -
Hey, I'm new to Xanga. I've got a lot of ideas and issues, not funny kind of issues, in my head, that I would like to reach out and see what others feel.
